The Only Three Things a Woman Can Expect from a Man - Trevor Noah Presents: Josh Johnson #(Hashtag)

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Josh Johnson breaks down the three attributes a woman can expect to find in a man.

Watch Trevor Noah Presents: Josh Johnson #(Hashtag) June 18 on Comedy Central.

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  1. Jaisean
    5 օր առաջ

    Not tryna sound cocky, but shiiiiddd… I’m all 3.

  2. J B
    J B
    5 օր առաջ

    Good dick, good person: good enough for me. So true about the 3

  3. mercy grace
    mercy grace
    7 օր առաջ

    Damn boi u seem like u all three

  4. lCurbstomp
    7 օր առաջ

    Isnt he already a friend to these girls? And then says they should friend zone others?

  5. Morgana Rich
    Morgana Rich
    12 օր առաջ

    Lol the good person thing is so true. You just confused friendship for attraction.

  6. Mael-Sanh Perrier
    Mael-Sanh Perrier
    13 օր առաջ

    The equivalent for women is good sex, exciting, and not crazy. Pick two and move on

  7. Allah-Xander McQueen
    Allah-Xander McQueen
    13 օր առաջ

    hey guys just for the record... you can have all three and not be a psycho... just thought yall should know...

  8. Hannah More
    Hannah More
    16 օր առաջ

    I had a man I thought had all three. More than good dick. Good person. Great job. Self-employed. But he decided after three kids he didn't want me anymore. 20 years investments just thrown away. Men get what they want from you and when they got it they leave.

    1. Iceymacchaito
      6 օր առաջ

      People changed Hannah. I have now changed.

  9. Rιllα Cяσωlєу
    Rιllα Cяσωlєу
    17 օր առաջ

    This guy could have been in the Jackson 5

  10. Quill OFarrell
    Quill OFarrell
    17 օր առաջ

    i am a 0

  11. justina moodie
    justina moodie
    20 օր առաջ

    I can't love this set anymore 🤣

  12. The V
    The V
    20 օր առաջ

    The best advice about men any woman can ever hear 😂😂

  13. R Bau
    R Bau
    20 օր առաջ

    The long pasta optically pause because creature aetiologically amuse behind a tasteful letter. quaint, truthful cupboard

  14. Nerdycoolchick3
    21 օր առաջ

    Damn why didn't I see this before I kicked good D to the curb...didn't get my souvenir mold

  15. Richard Michael
    Richard Michael
    21 օր առաջ

    Delivers comedy like a funny Tedtalk

  16. Kandice Lewis
    Kandice Lewis
    22 օր առաջ

    Lmaoooo my bf is indeed two.... I’ll let not having his stuff all the way together because that’s fixable compared to the other two 😂

  17. Henry Nightingale
    Henry Nightingale
    22 օր առաջ

    If the bar for heterosexual men is really this low, I feel sorry for heterosexual women.

    22 օր առաջ

    He is so funny lol

  19. Han Soh
    Han Soh
    24 օր առաջ

    Wow. Who is this guy? Great stuff.

  20. Ragan Tate
    Ragan Tate
    25 օր առաջ

    Such a doll he is.

  21. Vik Karabin
    Vik Karabin
    26 օր առաջ

    does he copy chapelle delivery now?

  22. Marvin Franklin
    Marvin Franklin
    27 օր առաջ


  23. claudiamador
    27 օր առաջ

    good person? that’s a friend 💀😩😩

  24. Always V
    Always V
    27 օր առաջ

    Hmm...dilemmas, hilarious!!!! Take 2 of 3!!!!

  25. Siberia Swan
    Siberia Swan
    27 օր առաջ

    This rule is about to save me a ton of headache and heart break because it's all making WAY too much sense rn...

  26. Natalia Bjerke
    Natalia Bjerke
    27 օր առաջ

    This guy gives me morty vibes

  27. Zoe Zzzarko
    Zoe Zzzarko
    28 օր առաջ

    Quickly mentally puts each ex into these boxes. Oh. Now I see what went wrong.

  28. Franny Goch
    Franny Goch
    28 օր առաջ


  29. yesim b.
    yesim b.
    28 օր առաջ


  30. Omer Aamir Shah
    Omer Aamir Shah
    28 օր առաջ

    Lol easy for a gay guy to say that shytt

  31. Essence of Cha
    Essence of Cha
    29 օր առաջ

    Honestly, I'm good with a Nice person who have their stuff together 🤷🏾‍♀️😃

  32. David Divad
    David Divad
    29 օր առաջ

    I feel him challenging some Paul Mooney vibes

  33. Barbara
    29 օր առաջ

    Lol he forgot my birthday!

  34. Lemmi Chillmister
    Lemmi Chillmister
    29 օր առաջ

    “He has all three, I knooooow iiiittt!”

  35. liveloveburndye
    29 օր առաջ

    dude. watching this… i was trying to think of any guy i know who’s a 3… not a one. 😂😂

  36. Alan Gomes
    Alan Gomes
    29 օր առաջ

    Women the best choice yall can make is good D and good person, cause he gon help you around the crib 🤣🤣no lies, this is accurate asf

  37. mrbigg151
    29 օր առաջ

    This man is gave a quality TedX Talk in 5 minutes

  38. Cyclops
    29 օր առաջ

    The majority of modern women are looking for the perfect man and often have a list. They always end up alone in the end because he doesn't exist. Ladies need to get realistic.

    1. Beast Haven
      Beast Haven
      8 օր առաջ

      I mean picking the two out of 3 seemed tough enough to me and im a guy. Let along their long as list.

  39. mwangope
    29 օր առաջ

    Me realising that my man has all 3!Thanks Josh ahahah

  40. Handy Andy
    Handy Andy
    Ամիս առաջ

    1) Sexting, 2) Sexting, 3) Sexting What do I win?

  41. loh22
    Ամիս առաջ

    That moment when realize you’re a 1.

  42. Gimena García
    Gimena García
    Ամիս առաջ

    This is gold. I think I will actually apply this to my life lol

  43. Brigita Grine
    Brigita Grine
    Ամիս առաջ

    That's good advice

  44. Miss Lulu
    Miss Lulu
    Ամիս առաջ

    His afro is getting bigger and bigger love it 😊

  45. MorningStar Crowfoot
    MorningStar Crowfoot
    Ամիս առաջ

    Ummm sounds like he stole this joke.. heard this too many times

  46. Yannick Fillon
    Yannick Fillon
    Ամիս առաջ

    He has a soothing voice

  47. Natalie D
    Natalie D
    Ամիս առաջ

    He forgot 4. single and 5. good looking (not only d#ck matters!) 😇😊😊😊 4. Because if he's got all those things but it ain't for you ... you're busted. And at the same time if he's got everything else but 5. you feel that procreating would be a sin for which you would be punished by God personally - then that's a damn shame) and shtuff to cry about at night) God give as all what we need 🙏😀

  48. Maina Mwareri
    Maina Mwareri
    Ամիս առաջ

    Too much estrogen in this young man. He looks real féminine.

  49. I'm TMZ
    I'm TMZ
    Ամիս առաջ

    Thanks to Josh Johnson I realize my dad is not a good person

  50. Chase Catchings
    Chase Catchings
    Ամիս առաջ

    Hit the like button if your one is "sadly" being a good person.

  51. Phyllis Burris
    Phyllis Burris
    Ամիս առաջ

    Whats up with the Afro? Like white guys with beards? Too much hair is disgusting.

  52. NoirNRougeNuit
    Ամիս առաջ

    High key...thus man is a genius, but... there are men who have all three right?

  53. nunya bidness
    nunya bidness
    Ամիս առաջ

    This is true for liberal men, maybe.

  54. lizzie_violett
    Ամիս առաջ

    Best young comedian out there 189%

  55. Aurthie Tahsin Fariha
    Aurthie Tahsin Fariha
    Ամիս առաջ

    So asexuals date friends?

    1. c. κ.
      c. κ.
      Ամիս առաջ

      if they're dating they're not friends, just romantic partners

  56. Molly Nash
    Molly Nash
    Ամիս առաջ

    This seems all true.

  57. Rodolfo Medeiros
    Rodolfo Medeiros
    Ամիս առաջ

    We might have been watching the next Dave Chappelle. Give him 15 years to make jokes about politics, marriage and kisg and we're gonna see something amazing.

  58. Michael Lübbert
    Michael Lübbert
    Ամիս առաջ

    Great bit. The last line needs to punch 🥊 harder.

  59. piramaniak
    Ամիս առաջ

    I need this man to tour the UK!!!

  60. Ben Newton
    Ben Newton
    Ամիս առաջ


  61. Cyiza Rwanda
    Cyiza Rwanda
    Ամիս առաջ

    Come to African and you will realize that you need like 2 billion things to be a good partner...

  62. Kayleigh Falter
    Kayleigh Falter
    Ամիս առաջ

    This is pretty good advice actually. 😂

  63. Mlavis kukr
    Mlavis kukr
    Ամիս առաջ

    Ohh dinit know jackson 5 is back but in a good way

  64. Francis Walton
    Francis Walton
    Ամիս առաջ


  65. marwa elderbi
    marwa elderbi
    Ամիս առաջ

    now i understand my ex more he had two hhhhhh

    Ամիս առաջ

    jack is next...

  67. s
    Ամիս առաջ

    Y'all I found his fit on etsy, Alagba African mens shirt, 90 bucks, 40% off. Should get here in a week, I'm very excited

  68. Mohamed Ahmed
    Mohamed Ahmed
    Ամիս առաջ

    Im all 3

  69. Lillian Jackson
    Lillian Jackson
    Ամիս առաջ

    I mean... He's not lying.

  70. Dionysus
    Ամիս առաջ

    The Ted Bundy reference was so spot on!

  71. DreTheSimmer
    Ամիս առաջ

    Me watching this as a solid zero

  72. Briana Cherry
    Briana Cherry
    Ամիս առաջ

    This guy is pure gold man 😂

  73. Keith Bridges
    Keith Bridges
    Ամիս առաջ

    Bro…I’m been showing this to every woman! Lol

  74. Rawiyah Md junoh
    Rawiyah Md junoh
    Ամիս առաջ

    when I heard I have friends I thought coudnt be me

  75. Darius Builds
    Darius Builds
    Ամիս առաջ

    Dam. Which two am I? 🧐

  76. ReptileLover 21
    ReptileLover 21
    Ամիս առաջ

    Me if I was doing this joke: I have friends- My best friend: HAHAHAHA

  77. Jacintha
    Ամիս առաջ

    ...I believe he might be right

  78. Creole Femme
    Creole Femme
    Ամիս առաջ

    He’s dressed like 80’s MJ with 70’s MJ’s hairstyle

  79. NoRainNoFlowers
    Ամիս առաջ

    i’m so mad this skit gave me an excellent thing to think about going into dating after the pandemic 😂

  80. Taryell Peters
    Taryell Peters
    Ամիս առաջ

    I would like to think I have all 3

  81. Kharisma Messam
    Kharisma Messam
    Ամիս առաջ

    This fella looks a bit like Tom Holland, is it just me?

  82. La Chico Blanco
    La Chico Blanco
    Ամիս առաջ

    Thank god I’m a two.

  83. Mustashee
    Ամիս առաջ

    This hit too close to home omf

  84. Shan non
    Shan non
    Ամիս առաջ

    I screamed at the part when he said "Nobody puts their vibrator back in the drawer and says, "He forgot my birthday" "

  85. banks 91
    banks 91
    Ամիս առաջ

    He ain't even lying.

  86. 77 77
    77 77
    Ամիս առաջ

    No man knows which two we are. 🤣

  87. sad lil emo boi
    sad lil emo boi
    Ամիս առաջ

    One of my favorite comedians

  88. Basomic
    Ամիս առաջ

    Can't wait to hear Josh deliver this as a TED Talk next year

  89. Blacc_ Rain
    Blacc_ Rain
    Ամիս առաջ

    The real life huey

  90. Ann Madigan
    Ann Madigan
    Ամիս առաջ

    THIS IS SO TRUE..cut through all the nonsense.

  91. Steve Cotter
    Steve Cotter
    Ամիս առաջ

    Dang, this dude got it. Sing it from the mountaintops!

  92. Jotassium
    Ամիս առաջ

    I’m glad I have 2 out of the 3

    1. Omnomjames YE
      Omnomjames YE
      Ամիս առաջ

      How do you know?

  93. True Tuber
    True Tuber
    Ամիս առաջ

    Suddenly, I feel like listening to the Jackson 5 greatest hits.

  94. T
    Ամիս առաջ

    The accuracy is what’s scary

  95. Novus Kökatsuna
    Novus Kökatsuna
    Ամիս առաջ

    The Bundy joke YESSSSS 💥💥 don’t be afraid

  96. The way Hobi broke it down in Hangsang
    The way Hobi broke it down in Hangsang
    Ամիս առաջ

    As long as his tongue works, I’ll take the last 2 😂

  97. Rick Matsokotere
    Rick Matsokotere
    Ամիս առաջ

    When did Josh become straight again 🤣🤣

  98. Shawna Lol
    Shawna Lol
    Ամիս առաջ

    Netflix laggin on y’all too?because I can’t find a single Josh Johnson special when he’s literally a smart and actual funny human being. (but they usually miss these things I guess)

  99. Adib Allauddin
    Adib Allauddin
    Ամիս առաջ

    Damn Im Nun 0f Those

  100. Divine Bebop
    Divine Bebop
    Ամիս առաջ

    Not funny